It’s been fifty-five days of staying home for us so far. Apart from a few walks and two outings to the shop where I was under strict instructions to keep my hands in my pockets by my more hygienic half I’ve been home.
We lost our dog to an unexpected illness in the first few weeks. As hard as that is I cannot imagine the agony of the people losing loved ones in these times. Some cultures grief together for days. Wailing aloud. The comfort of expressing grief surrounded by people sharing it is a lost gift in our Western world. In these times even the limited amount of comfort by others is limited.
So apart from losing our faithful furry friend we have been at home doing what we do at home. The realization of how important homelife is has once again been brought home to me. And the role I play as the CEO – Chief Emotional Officer to my five blessings.
As I scroll through posts online I can see how very distressing it is for many families simply to do this thing called – Homelife. Having all this time at home is proving much harder than you imagined. The pressure of work and schools on families are tremendous.
In a way it could be a time of reflection. What is really important to you? Stopping the rat race for a few weeks might make you wonder… Do I have to run on this wheel all the time? Is there a way to reach my goals in a less stressful way. What are my goals?
For me my priorities are shifting more and more towards fullfilling a role much neglected. The role of bringing up my children as emotional mature beings. People who know what and why they feel what they feel and are able to respond maturely to it. Off course this challenges me to start with myself first.
If I lose my temper. Why? Can I show grace to myself and others. Can I model not perfection but forgiveness. It doesn’t matter whether I work or not. Whether I homeschool or not. What matters is that I embrace my role as my families’ CEO.
So in this difficult time I can choose to start by simply listening without judging or reacting negatively. If my teenager is down in the dumps I can sympathise. Listen. The most basic need of any individual is to feel validated. What they feel matters. It is okay to express your feelings in a responsible way without hurting others.
Teach them how to do that. Start a journey of prioritising your relationships as a family. Talk about the small things that keeps upsetting the one child with another. Explain how personalities differ and how we need to respect that and find ways to co-exist.
This time is such a gift many won’t open. I’m hoping that some will and look back at it as the turning point in their lives for the better. So what if things are messy. Life is messy. Relationships are hard but they are worth the fight. They are more important than all the riches in the world.
Love from my home to yours.
Clara Berge.
Clara Berge 