As you can imagine in a family of seven there is a lot of everything. A lot of mess, a lot of personalities, a lot of emotional needs, a lot of food to make, a lot of schoolwork to do… You get it. It’s everything times seven.
One of the hardest things to do is cultivate a culture where the focus is not self centred but on being a contributor to the family. One way is to accent the fact that your family has value as a unit. Building it, investing in each other benefits the group which benefits the individual.
On Saturday we tried something new which had really surprising results.
We played a game called Super Server Agent. I assigned someone to everyone in the family as their person to serve for the day. The guidance was that they can’t tell who their person is. Serving them not for their approval but as if you’re doing it for God.
For this first time we kind off went down in age group. So the eldest had the second eldest to serve etc.
Now for the surprising part. We had the loveliest day. You had to do a minimum of two specific things. But some ended up giving their time and focusing on the other person for most of the day.
There were many special moments. For instance in our house if there is left over food, like an extra sausage roll, everyone usually wants it. For the first time ever there was a fight because everyone wanted to give someone else the sausage roll instead of claiming it for themselves.
It wasn’t big things. It was one brother making another one a cup of tea. It was another one simply being kind and patient towards someone who usually rubs them the wrong way. It was… different, special.
The teenager came to me. “Best day ever Mom. Can every day be like this? It was fun spending time with my sibling. It was such a peaceful day. Everyone got along.” Who would have thought a little game like this could have such an effect. I heard my two eldest talk about how interesting it is to have a different mindset.
Now as any mom I’ve told my kids a million times. Be kind to each other. Do for others what you want them to do for you. It’s better to give than to get. Help each other. But never had I seen them intentionally focused on doing just that for a whole day like this.
And startlingly they turned round to me and said. “Wow Mom you are a Super Server to Everyone all the time!” They noticed. Took stock of their family around them.
We plan to do this every weekend. Switching people each time. It would be amazing if it becomes our permanent culture which is what I’m trusting Yahweh for. Building with intention is better than just wishing it could be that way.
So very grateful for this heavenly download. Family matters to our Father. And His grace is enough for us.
Clara Berge 