As I was going through my day I had an aha moment. You know those moments that catch you unawares with a realization. In the middle of drawing with my 12th year old it dawned on me.
This. What I was doing right now was something I dreamed about doing but couldn’t do for twelve years.
Sit.
Peacefully with no interruptions. To be creative with one of my older children. There were many many days where I wished I could do this and here I was doing it. Aha.
Then not long after that I was watching a video on fermenting food and again. Aha. For twelve years I didn’t have the energy or brain capacity to think about cooking further than the bare basics. When I wished I had the time to experiment in the kitchen. And here I was making up my newest batch of kombucha while learning about fermentation. Wow.
Then later in the day I took a bath, washed my hair while chatting to my teenage daughter when I paused. For how many years had I barely gotten 5min for myself? Had I rushed through a bath before the baby cries? Had I endured a toddler in my bath stepping all over me? Not today.
Today I could do so many of the things I longed for in yesterday. I even drank my tea in peace. It didn’t get cold.
To some of you this makes no sense but to anyone who’s had children I’m sure you get it. And whether this is on your list of things you wish for right now or not it doesn’t matter.
Everyone has a few things they wish for that they don’t have in today.
For me it just meant a lot to stop and consider how much I do have today that I wanted yesterday. Instead of focusing on the list of things I want in tomorrow (like a villa in Portugal, and a Ford Mustang, and a few best sellers) I can find hope and joy in today.
Because just like I can’t imagine having those things today I couldn’t imagine having books published a few years ago. Or drinking my tea in peace.
Aha…
Clara Berge 