Sexuality

When you ask
About the strange feelings
Desires that draw you
To things youve never done

They hush you
Tell you its for one day
Far away
To consider it off limits
Till you’re married

Then one day
That day arrives
And you’re unsure
You’ve been told
The movies and books
Shows a false picture
But its the only picture you know

And reality is different
You’re not desired
Everytime he lays his eyes on you
Are you suppose to embrace
The things you always had to run from
Act sexy?
Like sex?

Sometimes its too quick
And you’re left needing
Sometimes its mind blowing
But when it’s over
You feel guilty
Never sure if it’s ok
To lower all your guards
Surrender to your passions
Fantasies, desires

When you ask
They smile and say
Make the best of it
You have to work at it
It’s the pillar of a marriage
Most divorces occur because of it
Or the lack of it.

And you’re left in the middle
Can I be pure
And love having sex?
Can I be a proper Christian mother
And wear sexy under wear

And not be afraid
Of something
That seems animal like
In its raw instinct
Of desire and conquest

After shoving it down
Ignoring it for years
Being afraid of it
For too long
Not measuring up to
The sexual attractive people on screen

Can you just be you
A sexual being in your core
Wired to love it, want it, need it…
And destined by God to enjoy it
In the safety of marriage
Where you become one

The world has tainted it
And made it into a joke
Theyve taken something of Gods
And ruined it.
Made it dirty.

But Oh! To know it in its original
pure form.

Where pure hearts, minds and bodies unite.. Now that’s true sexuality.